Great start in the New Year!
These first days of January seem to bring some freshness and new things to come. No, I'm not pregnant. Once we started to think about goals at the end of December, me and my husband started coming up with some interesting ideas and gave up the ones from the Old Year. I asked myself again: what is important to me now? What does the Lord expect of me right now? I pictured my life and imagined the things I will still be able to do when I'm fifty (e.g.perform, learn languages, travel and others) and the things I can only do now. The only thing I could think of was that I can exert the most influence on my children now. They yearn for my love right now. They want my time and attention, they follow me in everything as hard as probably never again in their lives. I hate looking back and thinking " I wish I gave more attention to or I was more focused through this or that experience". I don't want to be that way with raising kids many years later. [One thing about blogging in English that bothers the most is that I have to use the word "I" million times more than I do in Polish. We don't use I in Polish. We put a verb in the first person singular and that's it. I feel a bit self-centered].
In this process of "reprioritizing" I decided I do nothing but influence my children as much as possible. I gave up my entertainment tv programmes. I considered giving up my calling (I'm sorry, Lisa). I felt my children are now my everything. I finally started to enjoy every single moment spent with them. I woke up so excited to be woken by my son. I went to bed so happy that I had spent the whole day with my kids. I think I really felt the value of my work. This was when we were in hospital and afterwards. It was some couple of weeks of children being sick and me not leaving home for a moment (thanks to Radek doing shopping we survived :). There was nothing else but kids. I loved it. Then after a while I thought, I guess I can take a good care of my kids and reach out to other people and have a little time for myself. I started being happy with what I'm doing once I turned my world upside down, decided once again what really matters and added some other tasks which make sand around the stones in a jar (do you know what I mean?)
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I think that you still need to take some TTY (Time to yourself) Jamie and I, granted we only have Carsyn) we take every evening that I am home when Carsyn is in bed to snuggle and watch our television programs from the computer. You need that time away from Baby World. It is great to love your kids. But every parent needs a break.
OdpowiedzUsuńI love your reflections here, Ola. And I love that you used the rocks in the jar analogy. The rocks need to go in first, but they will rest in there much more comfortably if you fill in the spaces with sand!
OdpowiedzUsuńI agree with David's comment, and it sounds like that's what you determined, too. I think if you didn't take any time for yourself, instead of being grateful that you did all you could, you will be so worn out that you might resent your children or have a nervous breakdown! We don't want that! :) And thank you for not quitting your calling. :)
And BTW (by the way)it doesn't sound self centered to use "I" so much, but I totally know what you mean. Polish is much nicer in this respect
Thank you guys a lot for your comments. I am so happy that what I wrote was understandable. The first three commentators are invited to a cyberparty celebrating my first blog and my first threee comments. So Lisa and David are invited (of course with their families). Take care
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